Following Jesus Into The Heights

Though the cherry trees don’t blossom
    and the strawberries don’t ripen,
Though the apples are worm-eaten
    and the wheat fields stunted,
Though the sheep pens are sheepless
    and the cattle barns empty,
I’m singing joyful praise to God.
    I’m turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God.
Counting on God’s Rule to prevail,
    I take heart and gain strength.
I run like a deer.
    I feel like I’m king of the mountain!

Habakkuk 3:17-19, the Message Bible

I had never looked at being single as a “gift” before I started working on this project.  I do feel that it can be a time of learning to trust Jesus in more, different and much deeper ways.  By developing such a close bond with Him that we are willing to do all that He may ask of us, it is an opportunity to truly “fall head over heels” in Love with our Savior and Lord.  This should be our first step on the journey we are about to take.

This time of growth is necessary before we will be ready for any new relationships, including but not limited to the spouse that God may be preparing for you.  Let’s make good use of this time so that we can learn all that we can retain and become the image of Jesus that He has called us to be.

This will also be a time of healing from the pain and damage done to our emotions and our spirits’ from the past relationships we have all had. In this way, we will be prepared for the relationship of a lifetime.  That most important relationship should be with Jesus first and foremost. And if He should bless us with a mate, then with the spouse He has chosen to share the rest of our lives will be the second most important relationship we have.

Where and how do we begin this new journey?  Let’s start by taking inventory* of the hurts and pain we are carrying in our hearts and minds.  We need to know where we are before we can start this, or any, journey.  I feel that you should have a notebook with you as we travel through this time together so that we can make a record of how far we have progressed along this new path.  It will be a valuable asset for assessing what things we need to change in our lives, what we can build on, what needs to be added and what He will need to cut away.

It is also a great way to record your progress along the way.  It will be important to share these milestones with your spiritual mentor or Women’s Pastor.  And believe me, you will want to do this at various times throughout our journey together.

Taking Inventory*

Taking inventory is a very personal matter that you may want to keep a record of in a journal or notebook; this is so that you can reflect on the growth made as we travel through this time of healing.  At the end of each chapter, there will be space to add your thoughts in the comments section.  There will also be questions to cause deeper reflection of the things we discuss along the pathway on our journey to the heights with Jesus.

As you make this inventory, take the time to look over the relationships of your past and take stock of the hurts you have caused, and the hurts you have suffered.  You will want to have time to seek forgiveness from God and those who have been wronged for the hurts you have caused.

This is also a time to give forgiveness to those who have caused you pain, in person if possible or by letter, if they don’t live close by or if you have any qualms about meeting them in person.

If you were publicly wronged, it should be a public forgiveness; if privately wronged, then a private meeting is the way to go.   If they have passed on you can also write a letter, seal it in an envelope and place it with your important documents. Or you may burn it afterward as a sacrifice to God. This will enable the forgiveness to be released within your being.

Jesus said in Mark 11:25, 26 that if we have aught (lit. nothing, this means if we think there may be something between us and a brother or sister) we should leave our gift – offering or sacrifice – at the altar and be reconciled with them so that God will, in turn, forgive us our sins. But if we are unforgiving God, too, will be unforgiving of our sins.

We all need to walk through this time of reviewing the hurts in our lives, for it is a time of healing.  A time of learning to trust Jesus to mend those painful wounds in our lives and in the lives of those whom we have hurt.

~*~ 

For the first two and a half years after I became single again, I was so wounded from my past relationships that I didn’t think I would ever, and I meant EVER want to be in a relationship with a man again, let alone get married.  “Marriage”, to me, had become a “four-letter-word.”  But after finding out what true relationship is all about – and receiving a lot of counseling, I have decided that if this is God’s plan for me, I would like to try it again …though His way this time.  And in that respect, I would be doing it right. 

In this time of healing and waiting upon the Lord, God wants to draw us closer in our relationship with Him. HE wants to draw us into deeper truths and show us the life, the true calling He has placed on each of our lives.  Here, I am reminded of what Aslan kept saying at the end of C. S. Lewis’ book, “The Last Battle”, “Further in and Higher up.”   He wants each of us to move further into His Kingdom and Higher up into His lap so that we can heal and grow; thus falling deeper and deeper in love with Him each and every day of our lives. To do this, we must find freedom from the bondage of our hurts – and the pain of our unforgiveness – before we can loose ourselves into the total oneness with Jesus that He is calling us to.

If you are new to the path of forgiveness, no worries, God is able to instruct you in the right ways to seek the forgiveness of others and to give forgiveness to those whom you have wronged.  When I was learning to be forgiving and to accept forgiveness, I spent time in concentrated prayer for those I had wronged and those who I felt had wronged me; sometimes fasting, other times I would not refrain from eating and drinking.

I also made time with my spiritual mentor – who was our Women’s Pastor – so that we could work through all the emotions I went through as a result of learning to walk the pathway of forgiveness. This was very complex and draining time for me, so again I encourage you to have a spiritual mentor available to assist you in this new area of learning.  Your mentor should be someone you can trust implicitly with any and every secret, for by the end of your healing there should be no secrets between you and her of any kind.  Also, as they will be privy to these former secrets, they should be of the same gender and more spiritually mature than you.  I would not suggest you take your best girlfriend as your confidant, as it may leave you open to another type of pain in later days. 

Both my mentor and I kept notes (journals) of the things I was learning and my progress along the path. I recorded my feelings and insights, songs of praise and scripture verses that were helpful to me during this journey.  They are reminders of my learning process and fill me with renewed joy as I review them, as I am sure they will be to you. 

There will be times you may want to share the entries you have recorded in this volume with her – or have a separate journal – or section of your journal – to record those things you specifically choose to share.

Later in your walk, as you grow into maturity, you may want to share your journey with someone else who is traveling that pathway you had formerly trod. She will be comforted to know that someone she is acquainted with has walked this path before her and survived.

*See the Activities for Growth, Life History Post*

 Reflections:

At this point in each chapter, I will add questions for your reflection. You may want to add these and your answers to them to your journal so that you can look back and see how much you have grown toward maturity in Jesus.

Your Prayers:

In your journal you may want to write your specific prayer requests out as letters to the Lord so that you have a record of what you have asked God for during this journey. If you would like, you may share them in the comments here too, and I – and others who join us in The Way – will add your requests to our prayers, too.